There and Back Again…

I’ve been gone for a while, I know. Journaling is something that I am basically awful at. But I am here now to give it another go.

Some things have changed. I’ve graduated and gotten a promotion. I’ve gained some of the weight that I lost back. I have a boyfriend, and he even likes me in all of my squishy glory.

I’m ready to try to get everything back together to get back on track. I have to find a way to make the changes stick so that I don’t gain the weight that I’ve lost back again.

-Mao

Grrargh

I’ve been having a bad week.

Tuesday I was told that I was going to be the new Customer Service Manager.

Wednesday I was told that wasn’t happening.

Since that has happened, I have no desire to be at work. I have lost all respect for the company that I work for and the owner of the company. I thought that I had no respect already, but I have reached a new low in regards to that.

There was also an issue with the air conditioning in my car, but that was covered by the warranty, luckily enough.

My eating has been fine each day until dinner since Wednesday. I will eat my normal foods and be fine until I get off of work, and then I will go to some drive through and get something to eat.

I did manage to exercise each day some until Friday. I just couldn’t do it on Friday.

I still didn’t manage to complete the Cardio 1 disc. I’ve decided that the problem is mental, mostly. I’m considering doing some other cardio instead of the cardio discs, but I don’t know.

I’m struggling with my always-single-ness. I’m just struggling right now.

I’m in a bad mental space right now. I’m trying to work my way out of it, but it is hard.

-Mao

 

Real Life: Bicycle Edition

I went for a ride on my bicycle this evening.

Let me start by saying that I haven’t rode a bicycle in more than probably 10 years.

So I drove to the park that I started my walk at that faithful Saturday afternoon. I got my bike off of the rack, put my tennis shoes on, and put my helmet on. I put my basket (with bottles of water) on the front of the bike and my bag in the trunk of my car (my keys around my neck).

So far so good.

I walk my bike over to the path and hop on.

“Weee! This is awesome!” I think to myself.

I go around the first curve. “Huh. This turn feels weird.”

Remember the bottles of water? Yeah. I brought way too many, and there was too much weight on the front of my bike.

So I keep going, being careful with the curves until I come to a curve that goes uphill. Note this isn’t a very large hill. This curve? Yeah. I don’t take it so well.

And then I realize that I forgot to take the crossbar off of my bike (You know. The bar that makes it so that women’s bikes can go on a car rack.). What does this realization do in the middle of this uphill curve? Why it distracts me of course!

And so I end up nearly falling off of the bike. I do end up kicking the bike over and dumping my too-many-water-bottles on the ground. To add insult to injury, this happened across from an outdoor seating area of some restaurant or business or another. Yay! -.-

“I know what I’ll do! I’ll just get back on the bike and keep going like nothing happened!”

Nice thought. The chain came off of the gears so now I have to stop and deal with that.

Now you may think that is all of the things that can happen. And if so, you would be wrong.

I go for a bit longer before deciding that I should probably turn around because I’m not use to this and am out of breath.

On the way back, I start up one of the (small) hills that was fun to go down. I caught my lanyard with my keys that I hung around my neck on the handle bar and have to stop.

Finally I make it back to the car, after assuring the people that were in the outdoor seating area across from where I nearly fell that I was fine and just kicked the bike over. I put the bike on the rack after getting my bag out of the trunk. I take my tennis shoes on and put my flip flops back on. The basket is put safely in the floorboard of my backseat, and I get in the car to turn the air conditioning on because it is hot and I am hot.

Moral of this story? I need more practice. Especially on hills. If I want to bring multiple water bottles, one goes in the basket and the rest in a backpack on my back. Remember to take the damn crossbar off of the bike!

-Mao

Monday

I did not want to get up this morning. I don’t particularly enjoy Mondays. Mostly I don’t enjoy going to work, but it is a necessary evil so oh well.

I weighed in at 228.2 lbs this morning. The last weight that I posted here was 232.4 lbs on June 7th. That is another 4.2 lbs gone. It is amazing how quickly your body will release weight when you aren’t eating out multiple times a week.

I did the Body Revolution workout 1 today. I did good, I would say. I am not so good at plank still. I cannot quite hold it the full length of time, but I am working on it.

I’m hoping to be able to go ride my bicycle after work today.

-Mao

The Good And The Not So Good

So I did really well most of yesterday. I didn’t eat the funnel cake that I was offered. I ate my salad and my apples (with Cinnamon Swirl Peanut Butter).

Unfortunately by the time we left yesterday, I was tired, and my will power was done. We went to Gondolier, and I ate pasta and breadsticks. Followed by a few cookies and brownie bites.

I’m not saying that I did anything wrong because I am 100% of the thought that I can have anything that I want. I just need to do so in moderation.

Days like this will happen, and that is okay as long as they are not the most common of days. This is life, and life does sometimes include pasta and breadsticks. (As well as cookies and brownies.)

-Mao

Life

I did do Body Revolution Workout 1 yesterday morning. I did better than I did on Tuesday, but I couldn’t quite do 100% of it. Maybe this week!

I don’t have a lot of time to post this morning as I have to leave in just under an hour to meet a friend of mine so that we can all carpool to a demo that we are doing with our SCA group. The demo is about an hour away. I am prepared to be on my feet a bit. I’ve also packed my lunch! Go me!

Life is in kind of an odd place right now.

Each day it is becoming harder to make myself go to work at a place that I am not happy. A place that has a lot of problems. A place that I, on a nearly daily basis, want to walk out the door and never go back. But I can’t because I have to have a paycheck to pay my bills. So I am trying to find a new, better job. I have been unsuccessful so far. (I would appreciate any one that is interested to keep me in their thoughts as I try to find another job).

I’m happier when I am not at work (as long as I don’t think about work!). I want to go do things like ride my bicycle, but things haven’t been lining up yet to allow me to do so. But I am working on that.

I (currently) mostly don’t care or think about the fact that I am single. If I am ever to not be single, it will work out. Now is obviously not the time.

I think Ciaran needs a friend. Ciaran is my cat. I’ve had him for about two and a half years. In that time frame, he has been my only cat, but I see him watching the other cats in the apartment complex out the window. I think he gets a bit lonely when I am not home so I am thinking about getting him a friend (if I can just talk myself into the extra $20 a month in rent).

There are some financial things that I need to work on (like paying off my credit card debt), but I am working on it. I’m hoping to have my credit card debt paid off in the next year or so. I’m considering buying a house in the next several years (After I have found a new job and held it for at least three years (Don’t ask me where that rule came from. I made it up.)).

Meh. This post is kind of ramble-ly.

-Mao

BR: Workout 1 + Sore =???

So this morning was workout 1 again. I did not do nearly as well as I did on Monday with this. There were things that I couldn’t do for the full length of time, and I could only get about 2/3 through the workout today. Why? Because I am so damn sore.

I started this week sore from a combination of things. I was sore from swinging a stick last Wednesday. I crawled into my mom’s “attic” to stop a drip from the air conditioner on Friday. I took a nearly 2 hour, 4+ mile walk on Saturday, and I helped my friends move from the house they were renting to the house they just bought on Sunday.

Then add in soreness from the workouts that I have done each day this week.

This all adds up to me feeling like I am going to die trying to do the same workout that I did on Monday.

If I have time later today, I will see about doing it again, but I don’t know that I will have time because I have let a lot of things slide and I need to deal with that today.

-Mao